This may be a little late in coming but as I was watching multiple Christmas specials over the holidays I found myself watching A Christmas Carol starring George C. Scott. Its been a while since I’ve seen a good Christmas Carol cast and aside from a Muppet’s Christmas Carol there really hasn’t been much innovation in the telling of this story and I know its hard to do any innovation on a classic.
But me being me, I want to see if I can breathe a little bit of fun back into this classic Christmas story. This particular recasting of mine is a bit more fun since I’m also pulling characters from other franchises.
So here goes, my recasting of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.
First off the Ghosts (I can’t give away the main character right off the bat).
Jacob Marley: Sean Bean
Before you say anything, no this has nothing to do with the fact that he is currently portraying an undead “other” in the HBO series Game of Thrones.
First, he is the same age as the guy I would cast as Scrooge. Second from his performance in Lord of the Rings, he can give a very empathetic performance. And he can be very intimidating when he gets mad.
He carries weight with his performances and draws the audience’s attention. This is so important with Jacob Marley. Scrooge needs to believe what he is seeing and the first ghost needs to scare not only Scrooge but the audience as well. Sean Bean can pull that off.
The Ghost of Christmas Past: Pinhead portrayed by Doug Bradley
If you have seen the 5th film in the Hellraiser series, Hellraiser Inferno, you probably know why I would pick Pinhead for this.
In that movie the protagonist who actually turns out to be kind of an asshole, and a dirty cop, is walked through his recent sins. By finding various people he’s met dead at various scenes throughout the city. When he gets to a murder scene he receives a phone call and is forced to watch some mysterious Cenobite figure through a building window or some other such barrier that he can’t get through, torture someone by removing the fingers of some bound and gagged person. One finger is removed after each murder this guy discovers.
After the cop discovers what the Lament Configuration is and comes close to solving whats going on, Pinhead walks in and explains that his hell is to relive his mistakes over and over again. No matter how hard the cop tries, he will be forever locked in reliving his sins over and over again. This is obviously a ridiculous and out of character role for Pinhead to occupy but it was and is nonetheless amusing.
The George C. Scott version had an androgynous and sadistic Ghost of Christmas Past so why not up the ante?
Who better to make Ebeneezer Scrooge relive all his past mistakes than the sadistic minion from hell and incredibly charismatic villain, Pinhead.
The Ghost of Christmas Present: John Goodman
This is a no brainer for me. With the broad resume John Goodman has you can instantly see the jovial side of him with his performance in comedies like Roseanne, and King Ralph.
He fills the room. I have no problem imagining him in a room surrounded by food and laughing warmly at Scrooge’s confusion and hesitation
But the Ghost of Christmas Present does have a bit of a dark side to him as well. He has no problem throwing Scrooge’s words back in his face when it suits him. When Scrooge asks about Tiny Tim and what might happen to him. He coldly answers if the shadows remain unchanged he sees an empty chair where Tiny Tim once sat. “But, if he is to die then let him die, and decrease the surplus population”
Scrooge: You use my own words against me.
Ghost of Christmas present: Then perhaps in the future you will hold your tongue till you know what the surplus is and where it is.
Then there is that really dark moment when he shows Scrooge his two children, Ignorance and Want. This scene has always creeped me out and there is no mirth or warmth from the ghost at all.
Goodman as an actor has a considerable range when you look at his body of work. From The Big Lewbowski to small flicks like Fallen where he holds his own against Denzel Washington as a demon possessed villain. A role like the Ghost of Christmas Past should be right up his alley.
The Ghost of Christmas Future: T-800 Cyberdyne Systems Model 101
Can you think of a more perfect character to be the Ghost of Christmas future?
I’m not talking about Arnold either. I mean no skin, just the endoskeleton wearing a deep hood and robes so that all you can see is his glowing red eyes through the darkness of the hood.
He doesn’t need to say anything just point with his metallic skeletal finger. He’s the perfect uncaring, unreasoning apparition. He’s not supposed to show pity or remorse when Scrooge begs on his knees in the graveyard. I can think of no better character to help guide Scrooge through the last leg of his journey of self discovery.
Bob Cratchit: Tom Mison
Ok so this one might be coming from left field for a few of you out there. Tom Mison stars in the Fox aired TV show, Sleepy Hollow and I really appreciate his ability to have a dry sense of humor without any sarcasm at all. That is exactly the quality that Bob Cratchit needs to have when dealing with Scrooge. He needs to have a fear of God that any misstep will lead to him being fired.
Also the warmth that he shows when dealing with children. I believe that he can show genuine compassion to a child on-screen and that chemistry is essential when setting up the relationship between him and Tiny Tim.
And finally his accent that he uses in Sleepy Hollow is just amazing. It’s like a softer version of the modern-day British accent. With my cast that accent will fit in with my retelling of this British story with an American flavor to it.
Mrs. Cratchit: Jessica Chastain
Do I even need to explain why I would cast her here?
I haven’t seen her play a “mother” role. But she can be empathetic like with her performance in The Martian. She can carry a controlled psychotic rage like very few people can, as illustrated in Crimson Peak. She would be the perfect counterpart to Tom Mison’s quiet mild manners at the famous dinner scene where she gets to show her anger by cursing Mr. Ebeneezer Scrooge.
She also has a down to earth look. She doesn’t look like a super model but she is very pretty which is appropriate for the time period and this role.
Silas Scrooge: William Sadler
Ever since Die Hard 2 I have loved this guy. He has a hard edge and a no nonsense attitude that seems effortless for him. This is the quality I want for the cold father figure that molded Scrooge into what he will eventually become.
Fred Holywell: Brandon Routh
Before you blow me up with comments let me explain. He would need to lose some weight, Fred isn’t a Super hero but Brandon’s natural size is not a deal breaker either.
This kid was screwed over by Bryan Singer…royally. He has had to scrape by on bit parts here and there ever since Superman Returns and he was not the reason that movie tanked. With what he had to work with he was pretty good. Didn’t stop good ol’ Bryan from throwing him under the bus in two seconds flat.
I think since then he has shown some real flashes of depth in the bit roles he has gotten. I really liked his performance in Dylan Dog, and what small portion he was given to work with in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.
He seems to be able to project affability and a genuine good-naturedness when he has been given the opportunity to do so. Fred will be a perfect place for him to do something other than super hero stuff.
Belle: Marion Cotillard
Playing the jilted and discarded lover from Scrooges past? Do you remember the movie Inception? There is nobody else that I would want to play this part, period.
And last but not least
Ebenezer Scrooge: William Fichtner
I love this guys performance in just about everything he’s done. I liked him way back when he was in Armageddon. But more recently in Equilibrium, Date Night, and even Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, (nothing else about that movie was good but he was definitely a high point) he has been fantastic.
He can be the cold business man and with his performance in Equilibrium I know that he can also play a character that can be empathetic and show a change from cold-hearted and miserly, to remorseful and repentant, and them to warm and caring. For my Christmas Carol cast he is the main man who will make all this believable.
You’ll notice I did not have an idea for Tiny Tim. Any cute kid that can use crutches, and do some line readings shouldn’t be too hard to find. I would love to have someone like a five-year old Elijah Wood in the role. But how often does one of those kind of people come along?
Do you agree with my choices? leave a comment and start a conversation.
So this is farewell…till next post!
Scherrer Madness 